You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
