Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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