Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
