so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
