Christians are straight up FREAKS
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
