I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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