During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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