Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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