dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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