So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
