he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
