I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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