lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
