Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
