nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
