is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
