I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
