I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
dude. I can hear the air.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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