vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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