Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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