my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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