She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
