oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I look better un-naked...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
