That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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