i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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