This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
