I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
