Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
