Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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