giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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