So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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