She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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