her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
