he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
