It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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