I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
