I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think your dad took our porno
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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