I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize