this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
