i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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