he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
