she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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