I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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