if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
