I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
