hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
