Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's not a walk of shame if you run
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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