Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
