Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
