Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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