i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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