The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
